Interesting Links And QRX De W5HLH

I've found some interesting links I hope you'll check out:

• If you ever get the feeling the current economic crisis is different, that it is unprecedented in history, you're not alone. David Smick says the key problem is export-oriented economies who are relying on the United States as the consumer of last resort. I don't agree with everything in Smick's analysis, but I do agree with his identification of the key problem. I hope some people in Washington read and consider Smick's argument.

• Of course, much of the current economic situation is due to inept corporate management. As a disgruntled former Microsoft shareholder, I think you can make a strong case that Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer might be the most incompetent CEO this side of former General Motors CEO Rick Waggoner. John Dvorak agrees and lays out a blistering indictment of Steve's blunders. It is astonishing to think that a company that 15 years ago-----on the brink of the release of Windows 95-----seemed poised to own the computing world now seems ready for a swoon as deep and severe as IBM's in the early 1990s. IBM managed to recover, and Apple was struggling 15 years ago. Maybe Microsoft can stage a similar comeback. . . . . . . . but it never will as long Ballmer is running the show. (A new board of directors would also help.)

• And it's not just for-profit companies that are reeling from the effects of greed, hubris, and wishful thinking. Harvard is facing a huge financial crisis and no one seems to have an idea of the extent of the crisis and how to deal with it. Is a federal bailout for Harvard in the works?

• Outsiders are often puzzled by the fierce loyalty University of North Carolina alumni feel for their alma mater. I can't explain it; like Zen, you either get it or you don't. But Emily Banks, who just finished her freshman year at Carolina, comes very close to articulating the ineffable in this New York Times essay.

• "QRX De W5HLH" is radiotelegraph code; "QRX" means "wait," "de" means "from," and W5HLH is my ham radio license call letters. This is a roundabout way of saying I won't be making any posts for at least a couple of weeks as Di and I prepare to move. I'll still have access to e-mail when i find a WiFi hotspot, but I doubt I'll have the time or energy to blog until we're settled into our new home. I'll be back around mid-August if everything goes right.

Thoughts On A Very Eventful Week

Wow, what a week! Much happened that deserves some commentary.

• We accepted an offer for our condo yesterday and will be returning to Las Vegas in August. It was on the market only 32 days, a tribute to the still-robust Texas economy (memo to most of the other states in the union: Texas is clearly doing something right in its state budgeting and governance, and you should emulate what is done in Austin). Di and I met in Las Vegas, got married in Las Vegas, and bought our first home together in Las Vegas; it is fitting that our story will end in Las Vegas.

• This condo community is a gossipy one; it sometimes reminds me of high school. Here's proof: Di took one of our dogs for a walk about two hours after accepting the offer, and three people stopped her and said they heard we had sold our condo. Yet we never told anyone here!! It will be a relief to again live in a place where some people are not obsessed by other people's business.

• The cause of our neighbor problems was the rental of an adjoining unit to two adults who were not related to each other; this is explicitly prohibited by our condo association by-laws but, for some reason, our condo association and officers decided to look the other way. There are now several other units rented to non-related adults, most of whom are students at Texas A&M-Corpus Christi. This week we met with an attorney who told us any unit owner would have a very strong case for a lawsuit against the condo association and its officers for permitting such widespread violations of association by-laws. Since we're moving, we obviously won't be pursuing any legal action. But I know some people in our condo community read this blog, and perhaps they might want to keep this in mind if the board continues to turn a blind eye to these blatant violations of the by-laws. A couple of the association officers are suffering from advanced hubris, and a lesson in humility---the kind provided by depositions and discovery----would have a salubrious impact on them.

• I was deeply moved by the death of Farrah Fawcett; I feel a connection to people like her (and Tony Snow) who have a cancer similar to mine and were diagnosed about the same time I was. Their deaths make me even more grateful to have defied the odds and survived as long as I have. But Farrah's story is also a cautionary tale for cancer patients and their families. The money quote:

Diagnoses of cancer routinely generate periods of what we might call "ritualized optimism." No matter what the reality is, surgeons announce they "got it all," and patients declare that they are cancer-free. It is hard to criticize these types of proclamations. Indeed, it is difficult to conceive of other ways one might describe the first weeks and months after being diagnosed with cancer. Even if patients themselves believe or suspect otherwise, they want to reassure family and friends that they are on the road to cure.

I myself have fallen into that trap. The key is to know when it is time to renounce optimism for a cure in favor of a hard-nosed realism that acknowledges that cancer is going to kill you but also acknowledges there is much in life to enjoy before that happens.

• I saw my doctor on Wednesday and my new painkillers are oxycodone and darvocet. I was fearing an "upgrade" to methadone, and I'm glad to still not be at that point. I don't want to make Keith Richards envious of me just yet!

• Mark Effin' Sanford, governor of the great state of South Carolina! His press conference this week was something out of a David Lynch film; it was both hilarious and profoundly disturbing. What struck me was that he showed more empathy and compassion for his mistress than he did for his wife and, especially, his four sons. For those kids, every Father's Day in the future will be a reminder of the weekend Dad left them in Columbia and flew down to Buenos Aires to see his girlfriend. Sanford should be impeached, not for the adultery itself but instead for his breathtaking lack of judgment and common sense. Suppose Sanford was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and he abruptly vanished for a few days, telling no one at the company where he really was, and turning off his mobile phones so he couldn't be located. What would happen to that CEO? That's right, he would be promptly fired upon his return. And that's why Sanford must resign or be impeached ASAP; it's not about the sex, it's about his obvious mental and emotional issues. Sanford is nuts and needs some industrial-strength therapy.

• There really not much to say about the death of Michael Jackson other than how creepy the parallels are to the last years and death of Elvis Presley. Those two both had it all and threw it all away; both surrounded themselves with sycophants who told them what they wanted to hear instead of what they needed to hear. At the end, neither had anyone who loved them enough to pull them back from the abyss. And so their talent, careers, money, and eventually lives were squandered away. Such a waste. . . . . . .

Say Hello To Tinuviel May!

Tiffany Gasbarrini is a dear friend of mine from my days of consulting for Elsevier; she and her husband live in the Boston area. It was a joy interacting with Tiffany because she was highly intelligent, funny, and passionate about publishing.

And now she's a mother!! On June 16, her daughter Tinuviel May arrived in this world at 8 pounds, 3 ounces (wow, what a big baby girl!). And as you can see in the photo below, she is adorable.

I am so happy for you, Tiffany! And I wish "Nuvi" (as they have already nicknamed her) a long, happy, and fulfilling life.

Thought For The Day

“Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' But conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but because conscience tells one it is right.” -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hats Off To Sony!

A lot of blog entries complain about poor customer service from various companies.

This one is different. It is to praise Sony for their outstanding response to our problem.

Shortly after moving to Corpus Christi, we purchased a 42" Sony HDTV for our master bedroom. In late May, it failed------the screen started to display a "rainbow" pattern. And it developed this problem exactly two weeks after the one-year warranty expired.

We contacted Sony anyway. And Sony today agreed to repair our set without charge.

Thank you Sony!!!

If you're thinking about buying a HDTV set or other item of high-end consumer electronics, put Sony at the top of your list. They are clearly interested in doing right by their customers, and that's very rare today.

I'm Feeling Cranky And Churlish Today. . . .

. . . . . . . . but I think I have good reason to feel that way.

One annoyance is that the Blue Angels are in Corpus Christi this weekend for shows at the Corpus Christi Naval Air Station. They have been rehearsing today, and as a result our condo has been repeatedly rattled by low flying jets screaming in off the Gulf of Mexico. Even car alarms are being set off by the jets' shock waves. And for what purpose? If these were training exercises for an anti-terrorist mission, that would be one thing. But instead the Blue Angels are training for a series of stunts, all performed at low altitudes over heavily populated areas. As I asked before, for what purpose??

Attention President Obama: if you want to save on defense spending, ground the Blue Angels. And when you're finished with that, start showing more respect for civil liberties and privacy than George W. Bush did. Your somewhat. . . . . . shall we say, overenthusiastic embrace of warrantless wiretaps is one reason why people like me------people who voted for you and donated to your campaign----are experiencing severe buyer's remorse these days.

I'm also pissed off at an event being held tonight at a local high school running track. The event is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. People will be walking the track all night, and sponsors will be donating a certain amount of money for each mile walked.

So why does that piss me off?

Because the American Cancer Society, like almost all other cancer groups (such as the Jimmy V Foundation that Dick Vitale slobbers over each basketball season) focus their efforts almost exclusively on research into "finding a cure for cancer." But that approach has two big shortcomings: 1) as you can read here (and here), all of those billions spent on research have brought very little improvement in cancer survival and no further to a "cure," and 2) all that money spent on research leaves very little money left over for support and aid to existing cancer patients and for making diagnostic tests for early detection more widely available to more people.

One of the things that shocked me when I began chemotherapy was how many fellow patients had no reliable way to travel to and from their treatments. Make no mistake-----you are in absolutely no shape to drive after a chemo infusion, and you remain physically impaired for days afterward (I was typically bedridden for five days following each of my infusions). I was fortunate to have Di to drive me to and from the hospital in Austin, but many people, especially the elderly, had to search for a ride each treatment session. And sometimes they had to cancel their treatments if a ride wasn't available.

Some of that money being spent in futile searches for "cures" needs to be redirected toward services and support for people who need rides to their chemo treatments, who need people to check on them after treatments to see how they're doing, who need psychological counseling, etc.

Those sorts of tasks aren't glamorous enough for the American Cancer Society. Yet those tasks make life far more bearable for those dealing with cancer.

Some have asked if I would like a donation made in my name to the American Cancer Society after my death. And my answer to that is. . . . . . . hell no!! Lance Armstrong's LiveStrong Foundation does an infinitely better job of supporting and aiding cancer patients, especially in Central Texas, and deserves your support far more than the American Cancer Society does.

See? I may be falling apart, but I'm still the same irascible son of a bitch I've always been!

Miscellaneous Musings

• We have several ducks living in the pond that fronts our condo unit, and on Friday one of them hatched four ducklings. Here's a photo I took a few hours ago showing Mama Duck and one of her kids. The maintenance people at our complex have fenced off her nest, and there is water and food for her and her ducklings. I suspect I'll be posting a lot of cute ducky photos in the weeks ahead!

• Today marks the 48th anniversary of the first manned spaceflight by Yuri Gagarin. By any measure, this was one of the great accomplishments in human history, yet this anniversary has been, as far as I can tell, almost entirely ignored by the mainstream American press. Why is this? Are we living in such an ahistorical, cynical, heroism-denying age that such monumental acomplishments are now considered of less importance than, say, Lindsay Lohan's new hairstyle? I note the Chinese are enthusiastic about space exploration, embrace heroic enterprises, and I suppose that's why China will be the dominant world power in less than a quarter century. Do your kids a favor; teach them to say "Sure thing, boss!" in Mandarin. They will thank you for it.

• In the past week I have received several unexpected but very welcome e-mails, and I want to acknowledge them. My old high school buddy Donald Mack located me and sent me an update on him and his family; he's doing well and I'm happy for him. Cindy Ballard-Guminski was the first employee of Hightext/LLH back when she was Cindy Ballard; she left us to join the Peace Corps and work in Botswana (my going away present to her was a Grundig shortwave radio!). She had some very warm words for me which I really, really appreciated. I also received an e-mail from someone who had found this blog by accident, Shirley Bovshow. I appreciate her kind remarks about my cancer entries. Shirley has a very interesting gardening blog that is worth checking out. Finally, I also received phone calls from Jason Gardner and Jon Erickson, two buddies from the publishing industry. I can't describe how much such e-mails and calls mean to me, especially from people I have been out of touch with for a while. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you!!

• Today is the third anniversary of my cancer diagnosis and also marks the end of blogging about my cancer. Why? For one thing, I feel as if I have said just about everything I can about the subject; I'm bored with having cancer and how it now dominates my life. I no longer decide when I will go to bed, when I will wake up, what (or if) I will eat today, or what, if anything, I will do on a given day------cancer decides all that for me. And there's very little I can say new or insightful about having cancer. Cancer sucks. That's the summation of everything I have learned over the past three years, and I doubt I'm going to learn anything new in the time I have left. So no more cancer posts; instead, I'll write about ghost towns, mountain climbs, the Big Island, Death Valley, etc. Those are positive memories and cheer me up, while writing about cancer is depressing. I don't want to spend my remaining time in mopey self-pity, so the "My Cancer" label is now officially retired.

North Carolina 89, Michigan State 72

Last night was the last time I will ever get to see Carolina play. I watched it quietly while lying in bed, my calm the result of a painkiller I had to take earlier in the evening. There was none of the celebration that accompanied the 2005 title, but in the last few minutes of the game I was both giggling and crying tears of joy. . . . . . . the last time I will ever see Carolina play, and they win the national championship. That, my friends, is what you call a "perfect ending."

Yes, to some it was a silly ballgame. For me, last night was an escape from my decline and pain, and some welcome joy and happiness. I felt good and happy, and for that I am grateful.

My thanks and love to my alma mater. As the Carolina fight song says, "I'm a Tar Heel born. I'm a Tar Heel bred. And when I die I'll be a Tar Heel dead."

Virtue Triumphs Over Evil

North Carolina 79, Duke 71. That makes six victories over the Blue Devils in the last seven games, and is more proof that Roy Williams has restored Carolina as the dominant basketball program in the Atlantic Coast Conference.

I'm still here, but I haven't felt much like blogging lately. I'll try to get my butt into gear and start posting again (and my thanks to those who e-mailed wondering if I'm okay). I am still at peace with my situation and with what lies ahead for me.

Interesting Stuff In The News

I haven't felt much like writing lately, but I have run across some interesting things in the past week:

• Sometimes I get the feeling the feeling theoretical physicists are just jerking us around. Exhibit A: now they're telling us the universe is just a giant hologram. This is intriguing, mindbending stuff to read, but I really do think too many theoretical physicists are painting themselves into the same intellectual corners that medieval theologians did with their speculations about how many angels could dance on the head of a pin. They are constructing theories that are inherently untestable, theories for which no observational evidence is available, theories that might be nothing more than epic works of mathematical fiction. String theory is perhaps the best current example of this obsession with the unprovable, and here's a nice demolition of string theory.

• I recently raised the possibility of a sudden collapse of the Mexican government as being a big problem for the Obama administration. It's a relief to see some people in the U.S. government are taking that possibility seriously. I have bookmarked the web sites for many newspapers in border cities (like Brownsville, McAllen, Laredo, and El Paso in Texas) and reading them gives powerful evidence the situation in northern Mexico is getting very grim; civil authority in many areas has already essentially broken down-----in some regions, there is even evidence the Catholic hierarchy has been co-opted by narco money. Mexico could turn into a monstrous problem very rapidly, even though most large media outlets (with the notable exception of the Los Angeles Times) continue to resolutely ignore the situation.

• Magazines are going through the same rough times as newspaper and book publishers, and the Magazine Death Pool web site chronicles the latest victims. The "Museum of Dead Magazines" link at that site is worth a visit for the nostalgia factor alone-----hey, I remember Crawdaddy and Omni!!

• People who get a diagnosis of advanced, probably terminal, cancer invariably react in one of two ways: 1) they accept the news straightforwardly, are honest with themselves and others as to what's happening, and have no patience for self-deception and bullshit about what's going on, or 2) they immediately go into denial about their situation and enter a world of magical thinking, a world in which a refusal to say the word "cancer" and positive, upbeat thoughts are all you need to beat the disease. I'm a type 1) cancer patient. Steve Jobs is a classic type 2) cancer patient. I don't know the details of Jobs's prognosis, but I don't have to; I've run into plenty of people like him in oncologists' waiting rooms, chemotherapy infusion centers, radiation oncologists' waiting rooms, etc., since 2006. I know the type well by now: often very intelligent and high achievers, but utterly unable to accept the notion something bad has happened, and is happening, to them and there is essentially nothing they can do except hope for some good luck. In talking with such fellow patients, I have often been stunned at how irrational and genuinely delusional such otherwise intelligent people can be. Steve needs to stop kidding himself about his situation and what's going to happen; it's a lot better to spend your remaining time enjoying your family, friends, and life than it is to waste it in a futile attempt to convince yourself that reality isn't real.

• I grew up in the segregated South. I remember "whites only" signs in restaurants, hotels, laundromats, waiting areas in airports and train stations, as well as separate entrances for blacks in places like movie theaters (blacks were usually exiled to the balcony, leaving floor level seats for whites). Segregated schools, a total absence of black voters in any election, casual use of racial slurs in everyday conversation. . . . . . . . . I remember all of that very well. Even as recently as a decade ago, I never thought I would live to see the election of a black man as president. And that makes tomorrow's inauguration perhaps the most memorable event of a life in which I have already been lucky enough to witness some truly amazing events. No longer will be the notion of a non-white president be considered remarkable, and that will truly be a marvelous thing for this country. I am proud to say that I voted for Obama in the Texas primary and caucuses, in the general election, and also donated to his campaign. I wish him the best.

• While I supported Obama, I didn't------as did too many of his supporters------fall in love with the man. While I respected his obvious intelligence, I worried about his inexperience and what I felt was an excess of idealism and a lack of pragmatism. (I had no such doubts about John McCain; I was fully confident, and his campaign bore this out, that he was a senile, bewildered old fool prone to panic-driven snap decisions.) Obama strikes me as a guy who would make a great chess player, for chess is a game of pure logic in which the relative strengths of the players' positions are visible to the entire world. But life and politics are like poker. You don't know which cards the other players are holding and deception and bluff are inherent parts of the game. And I worry about whether Obama has spent too much time in the rarefied air of law school faculties and the Senate to have developed the necessary instincts to determine if his counterpart from China, Russia, or a Middle Eastern state is really holding a pair of aces or is trying to bluff with a two and a seven off-suite. My worry is that Obama might be like Jimmy Carter, another idealistic, not-too-worldly type who reacted with genuine shock to the news the USSR had invaded Afghanistan: why, Leonid Brezhnev gave me his personal word he wouldn't do such a thing!! (That's an absolutely true story, by the way.) My fears in this regard have mounted as Obama has populated his administration with retreads from the Clinton administration, including the ultimate retread of all. I consider the Clintons to be breaded-deep-fried-and-served-with-hushpuppies versions of Lucrezia and Cesare Borgia, and I strongly, sincerely believe Obama will eventually curse the day he decided to make Hillary Secretary of State. I think that will come in early 2011, when Hillary resigns and makes blistering criticisms of Obama's ineptitude in foreign affairs. And the next day, by remarkable coincidence, the "Hillary2012.com" web site will go live and the fun will really begin.

Remember, you read it here first.

2009

A new year was once a time of great plans and goal setting for me. Since getting cancer, it's become a more contemplative, introspective time. This past New Year's Eve/Day was a somewhat somber time for me. I've survived longer than most other patients with my prognosis, but the luck I've often referred to here is starting to run out. I have experienced a significant physical decline since Thanksgiving; I'm really feeling the "tumor load" on my body and, if life is a chess game, then I have definitely entered the end game. With the physical decline has come something of a mental and emotional decline as well. I no longer enjoy doing many of the things I have enjoyed in the past (like writing or playing with my radio equipment) and I am often beset with this puzzling lassitude and indifference. As I told Di a couple of days ago, I sometimes feel like someone who has stayed too long at a party and needs to leave. I have no doubt my physical deterioration is starting to have an impact on my mental state.

Normally I'd be optimistic and bubbly at the start of a new year, but this year I am under no illusions. I know 2009 will be a bad year. I can see the storm clouds approaching. I know I am going to get stomped hard in 2009, and there is nothing I can do to prevent that from happening. All I can do is get a good grip, grit my teeth, and try to be as stoic as I can in dealing with what's ahead.

I probably won't be updating this blog as often as I've been doing; most days I just don't have the motivation. But I'll try to keep posting interesting things about the places I've visited and items in the news; I don't want to turn this into a poor-poor-pitiful-me whinefest.

I greatly enjoyed the Twilight Zone marathon on the SciFi channel yesterday. I especially liked the "Monsters on Maple Street" episode. This involved a sudden power and telephone system failure in a small town at the same time a large, bright meteor was seen. Very soon, the anxious, nervous townspeople start wondering what happened and why, and the people soon disintegrate into a hysterical mob convinced the meteor was a flying saucer, the power and telephone failure was caused by the flying saucer, and that space people are in their town preparing to take over Earth. The townspeople start suspecting each other-----even children-----of being "space people," and one neighbor even gets shot in the panic. Of course, none of them are "space people," and the episode was actually a powerful commentary on the McCarthy era. But it still has relevance today as a warning against allowing your fears to dominate your common sense and to not see "monsters" where there are only shadows. It's a warning applicable to entire nations, and also to people like me facing an uncertain future. I'll try to keep it in mind as 2009 goes forward.

I hope everyone has a great 2009 and my best wishes to all of you! Thanks for visiting and reading here!

Links To Stuff I've Been Reading

I haven't been feeling well lately and haven't felt much like blogging, but I've been reading some interesting things I'd like to------as Rod Serling used to say on The Twilight Zone-----submit for your consideration:

• The Greensburg, KS tornado of May 4, 2007 was a F5 monster that destroyed that unfortunate town. It was also just one of several violent storms in Oklahoma and Kansas that evening. It now seems as if those storms were part of an extraordinarily rare meteorological event-----a cluster of "inland cyclones" and "super tornadoes"------that caused the parent thunderstorms to develop eyewalls, much like hurricanes, and the Greensburg tornado to reach a width of four miles on the ground! That link is to a discussion on the Stormtrack.org website; it's often detailed, and not easy, reading but is a fascinating look at the same phenomenon that may well have produced the great 1925 Tri-State Tornado. (It now seems, based upon the data gathered from the Greensburg tornado, that the Tri-State Tornado was probably a single tornado rather than a series of them.) Tornadoes are produced by super-cell thunderstorms, and it now appears on rare occasions that super tornadoes may be produced by super super-cell thunderstorms! As one of the participants in the Stormtrack discussion asks, can you imagine what a storm like this would do if it hit a populated area like Kansas City, Oklahoma City, or Dallas?

• As if that's not enough to worry about, there has been a swarm of earthquakes under the caldera of the Yellowstone supervolcano. Let's face it; we're all doomed.

• A web site called Strange Maps is worth everyone's attention!

• Don't look now, but the government of Mexico is coming apart at the seams and could collapse at any moment, producing widespread chaos and mega-problems for the United States. Think I'm kidding? The cause is the war between Mexican drug cartels and the wobbly, post-PRI Mexican government, and the Mexican government is currently losing. The Los Angeles Times is covering this situation very well. Visit that link, read the stories, ponder how long a border we share with Mexico, further ponder how open and undefended it is, and then shudder. President Obama's first major foreign policy crisis may not be in the Middle East or Russia, but instead on our southern doorstep.

• I'm so old that I remember when Caroline Kennedy used to be Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. Behind her Senate bid is less a commitment to public service than an apparent desire to frustrate the senatorial ambitions of a former "associate member" of the extended Kennedy political clan.

Delightful Miscellany From The Past Week

• My skeptical review of the series finale of Ghost Adventures is now up. As you may detect from the tone of my review, I wasn't impressed, but at least I was amused!

• One of the dirty little secrets about cancer tests is how many of them are not very accurate and miss many early stage cancers. So says the New York Times. The large majority of funds raised for cancer research go to "home run" projects that try to discover the underlying causes of cancer----why do certain body cells start running amok and replicating out of control?-----but, despite decades of research and billions of dollars, those efforts have largely failed and show no promise of any breakthroughs in the near future. Meanwhile, research into more mundane topics, such as improving the accuracy and reliability of diagnostic tests such as colonoscopies, is neglected even though such improvements would likely save more lives much sooner. But the "home run" research is more glamorous, money goes to it, and people die needlessly as a result.

• Nick Gillespie lets rip with a magnificent, scatalogical rant about the current state of the United States in this piece from Reason. I find myself in agreement on most of his points. In particular, I find myself wondering why I should be obligated in cleaning up the mess created by fools who bought no-money-down homes with adjustable rate mortgages. I take pride in the fact that I have tried to live my adult life not just within my means but well within my means; I have lived in homes, and driven cars, less grand than I could have if I had spent every last dollar of my disposable income. Instead, I saved and invested much of my disposable income. That's why I was able to buy our new condo in Corpus Christi, as well as our 2009 Scion, with cash instead of credit. (And you have no idea how hard a bargain you can drive in this economy when you're a buyer able to pay 100% cash!) I take pride in the fact that all I owe each month are utility and insurance bills. And that is why I say to anyone struggling with a sub-prime mortgage, one you got with no money down and having the closing costs folded into the loan. . . . . . . . I have absolutely no sympathy for you. None whatsoever. If you lacked the income and/or personal financial discipline to save a down payment of 20% and qualify for a fixed rate mortgage, you had no business trying to buy a home; you should have just rented instead. You, not me, are the one responsible for the jam you find yourself in, and I will severely punish any politician who wants to use my tax dollars to bail your worthless, idiotic, and profligate ass out. In other words, I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. I hope this clarifies my feelings on this matter.

• I'm in favor of revoking Illinois's statehood, giving it to Puerto Rico, and instead making Illinois a territory, much like Guam or American Samoa. Here's why. Seriously, if Illinois was a Central American nation with such a chaotic government, we would have sent in the Marines by now.

• Here's a variation of those "100 things to do before you die" lists, but this one deals with visiting places and experiencing things connected to the natural sciences. I was surprised to discover I have done 42 of the 100 things on this list, and I even posted here about #47, Telescope Peak. I'll soon post here about the others I've seen/experienced, like. . . . . .

#1, an erupting volcano (Pu'u O'o vent on the Big Island of Hawaii; I took this photo in 2002):



#2, see a glacier (better yet, I have actually climbed as well as seen a glacier----this is a photo I snapped while climbing across the Palmer glacier on Oregon's Mount Hood-----note the cracks in the surface ice):

Random Musings. . . . . .

Interesting stuff in the news of late. . . . . . .

● The book publishing business is finding it is not immune to the current economic climate and some well-known publishing professionals have lost their jobs. There are also some long-overdue efforts underway to consolidate divisions and functions and avoid the duplication of effort that is pandemic in some larger publishers. I expect to see a lot more news like this in the future as the book publishing industry model I worked in for years is no longer financially viable; big changes are going to happen of necessity.

● I've previously blogged about the utter insanity of the proposed auto industry bailout, with my biggest objection being that it simply won't work. Reason magazine nicely sums up why the bailout is doomed to fail, and crunches the numbers to show why it can't work------even if GM, Ford, and Chrysler get everything they're asking for, they'll be back for more by next summer. The problems with GM, Ford, and Chrysler are simple: 1) people don't want to buy the cars they're making, and 2) the management of those companies is flat-out incompetent in every possible way. Until GM, Ford,and Chrysler figure out how to build cars people want to buy, no amount of federal money can save them------without customers who want to buy your stuff, you don't have a business. A Chapter 11 filing for all three would be their best bet for a rebirth. Giving federal money to the same teams of executive fools who got the automakers into their current mess would accomplish absolutely nothing. And I really object to how the bailout request is being described as "loans." These are the sort of "loans" that are made when your worthless brother-in-law asks to borrow $500; you know damn well you will never see that money again if you make that "loan." Same thing applies here. . . . .

● Several months ago I 'fessed up to my addiction to various "ghost hunting" shows on cable television. Well, there is a new one on the Travel Channel titled Ghost Adventures that I find highly "entertaining," and I'm doing reviews of it for the Skeptical Viewer web site. Here is my first review and here is my second review. I find Ghost Adventures to be only slightly more disingenuous than, say, a typical episode of Meet The Press.

● I greatly enjoyed watching North Carolina demolish Michigan State last night by a score of 98-63; this Carolina squad might be the best since the legendary 1981-82 national champions (which featured a couple of players named James Worthy and Michael Jordan). But my enjoyment of the game was impaired by the repeated maudlin references to "Jimmy V Week" and pitches for donations to the "Jimmy V Foundation." Jimmy V was Jim Valvano, the former basketball coach at N.C. State who died of cancer in 1993. What drove me nuts was listening to the non-stop emoting of Dick Vitale during the game and, during commercial breaks, Duke coach Mike Kryzewski, both telling us what a terrible disease cancer is, how it destroys lives, how we must find a cure for it now, how courageous cancer patients are, blab. . . . . blab. . . . . . blab, until I was about to scream. As I've written here before, the "courageous cancer patient" is just a myth; we undergo chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery not because we're brave but because we want to live. Moreover, cancer patients don't live lives of non-stop suffering and despair. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass to have cancer, I'd rather not have it, and I had a lot more fun without it, but I still lead a very enjoyable, rewarding, and fulfilling life. We cancer patients don't want or need anyone's pity. Finally, I was upset by the egocentric, self-congratulatory tone taken by Vitale and Kryzewski in their verbal ramblings; it was as if the subtext was See what a good person I am! I hate cancer! Well, good for you boys! I hate it too. But I don't like being reduced to an icon or symbol that people can project their fears upon, and I don't like being patronized as some sort of pathetic victim in need of constant love and support. I know the vast majority of the other cancer patients I've met since beginning my journey feel the same way. We're just ill, not helpless. And we're real people, not symbols!

Thanksgiving 2008

I'm lucky enough to see another Thanksgiving, and I have a lot to be thankful about.

Like my family and friends. Like the people I've never met but who I "know" through my writings, this blog, and radio activities. Like our dogs, cats, and Lucy the wonder rabbit. Like my memories of the places I've been and the things I have done. Like the fact that I'm one of the lucky patients located on the right side of the mean survival time bell curve. As I look back on my life and reflect, the one thing that keeps popping into my mind is man, I've been one lucky SOB!

Years ago, I used to say I wanted to die suddenly and unexpectedly, and never have an idea it was coming. But I am thankful the way things have turned out and for this opportunity to look back at the road I have traveled. I have climbed heights only to experience steep, brutal falls. I have been thrown from one side to the other. I have turned one way and then turned sharply in the opposite. Sometimes all I could do was hold on as tightly as I could.

That sounds like a world-class roller coaster ride, doesn't it? And that's the perfect metaphor for my life. Now my ride is nearing the end-----the part where the roller coaster slows down as it returns to its starting point-----and I have to say it was a lot of fun, well worth the trip, and I'd do it all again, exactly the same way, without hesitation. And for that I'm thankful.

I hope everyone reading these words feels the same way toward the end of their life journey.

It's just me and Di today. There will be the obligatory overconsumption of food, perhaps a walk on the beach, and then back home to watch the Cowboys versus Seattle and, later, the Texas Longhorns confronting the dreaded Texas A&M Aggies. Viewing of those games will be assisted by bottles of 2008 Georges duBoeuf Beaujolais Nouveau, which will probably do me more good than all that $15K a month chemotherapy I received.

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone, and thank you for stopping by!

An Inchoate, Angry Rant For Such A Beautiful Autumn Day

It's official: General Motors has started its death spasms and, of course, wants you------I'm talking about you, schmuck, the American taxpayer------to bail them out. President-elect Barack Obama is on board with the idea, and I suppose that means GM will soon be getting billions of federal money.

Is it possible to impeach a president prior to his inauguration?

Why? Because if GM is in such dire financial straits, then where did they find the $300 million to build a new auto factory in Russia? (And note the date of the grand opening----today, November 7, the day they announced to the world they're going broke!)

And in September, GM opened another $300 million dollar plant, this time in India. Of course, I don't want to forget the $250 million facility they are building in China.

In other words, will any GM bailout go to help save the American auto industry or will it instead go to help the auto industries of Russia, India, and China? (Hint: this is a how damn stupid are you anyway?? type of question.)

The root of General Motors's problems are twofold: 1) they are bloated, producing too many brands that compete with each other more than they compete with other automakers, and 2) GM makes poorly built, crappy cars that offer terrible value for the money.

GM's current problems are exacerbated because of GMAC, the auto financing arm once wholly owned by GM. For years, GMAC provided financing for customers purchasing GM cars through GM dealers and, even more importantly, was how GM dealers financed their inventory. Not only was GMAC the lubricant that kept the GM sales machine running, it was also a cash machine for GM, generating $2.4 billion in pre-tax profit for GM in 2005.

But then GM's executives got a bright idea: to make up for declines in their auto sales and auto profits, they would sell 51% of GMAC to Cerberus Capital in 2006. GM got $14 billion for that 51%, and that allowed GM to show a nice profit in 2006.

But. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . GM lost control of their ability to finance both their customers and dealers. And that is beginning to squeeze hard now. Have you seen any of the recent GM commercials with their "financing that fits" promotion? That's because GMAC is no longer financing any individual customers but the most credit worthy (credit scores of 700+), and those people can usually get a better credit rate elsewhere. Even more ominous is what GMAC is doing to GM dealers. GMAC is now only financing inventory for three months instead of the previous six and no longer finances any used car inventory. In short, GMAC, at the behest of Cerberus, is slowly strangling GM, much like a python coiled around GM's neck.

And why would they do that? Well, guess which company bought Chrysler last year and took it private?

Yep, Cerberus. The financing arm GM depended on for decades to provide credit to its customers and dealers is now controlled by a competitor. That was the reason for the recent flurry of rumors about a GM/Chrysler merger or acquisition-----Cerberus was trying to force GM to buy Chrysler at a price that would make a nice profit to Cerberus for one year's "work." And that plan would likely have gone through if not for GM steep nosedive over the past quarter.

Of course, the same fools at GM who engineered the sale of GMAC, such as Rick Wagoner and Bob Lutz, are still there and still making nice paychecks even as their dumbass decisions have put the company's survival into question.

A federal bailout of General Motors will not save GM or the American auto industry. A bailout will not alter the fundamentals of the industry (like overcapacity) or make GM's management any brighter. All it will do is keep those new plants in Russia, India, and China running.

It's time for some tough love.

The proper solution for GM's problems, as well as those for Chrysler, Ford, Goldman Sachs, or any of the other leeches wanting federal money, is called a Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Chapter 11 isn't nice for anyone involved. Existing management is fired, the board of directors is replaced, labor contracts are voided, creditors are paid just a fraction of what they are owed, assets are sold, shareholders have their investment reduced to pennies per share, and control of the company is in the hands of court-appointed trustees and managers.

But it does give the company a clean slate, fresh management, a new structure, and a greatly improved chance for survival. It is no guarantee of survival, but in GM's case it represents the only realistic chance for survival.

If I were the court-appointed trustee to oversee GM in Chapter 11, I would immediately discontinue the Buick, Pontiac, Saturn, and Hummer brands. I'd sell them to a foreign manufacturer if I could; if I couldn't, I'd stop production of them to focus on just the Cadillac, Chevrolet, and GMC brands. I'd sell the start-up operations in places like Russia, India, and China to instead focus on the still-profitable European operations. I'd also greatly reduce the number of GM dealers.

Advocates of a federal bailout for GM would probably wail, "But what about those who would lose their jobs in Chapter 11?" Guess what? Those jobs are going to disappear regardless. It's a much better idea to take the bailout money you were planning to give to GM and instead spend it on extended unemployment benefits and other financial assistance, transitional medical care, and training for new jobs for affected workers. It would also be a lot cheaper than giving the money to Wagoner and Lutz so they can just piss it away, and they would be coming back in 2011 for another bailout anyway.

You didn't know GM was investing more in new facilities in Russia, India, and China than they are in the United States, did you? That's because most of the mainstream press just regurgitates corporate press releases instead of doing any research. It took me about ten minutes on Google to find the news about GM's overseas investments, and I bet I could've found more with a little extra effort.

President Bush's bailout of Wall Street investment firms cemented his claim to being the dumbest bastard ever to occupy the Oval Office. But if Obama gives in to demands by GM and the rest of the auto industry for a comparable bailout, then he will have taken the first step toward giving Bush a serious run for that title. Enough already! This country simply can't afford to write a check to every company, or individual, that makes dumb financial decisions. One day there has to be a reckoning. And this day is as good as any to start that process.

Okay, I promise I won't turn this into a political opinion or rant blog. But today's announcement by GM, and the sympathetic press coverage that provided no analysis or insight into how they got into their predicament, sent me over the edge. I'm now going to pour a couple of glasses of Pandasol sangria and try to calm down.

And it really was a beautiful day here; highs in the upper 70s, low humidity, and not a cloud in the sky.

Update! It just gets worse. Since finishing the post above, it turns out GM is now making more plans to expand its presence in China.

The First, Last, And Only Political Post I Will Ever Make On This Blog

The photo above shows John McCain using the dreaded "Shaolin death grip" he learned in Vietnam from the late Kung Fu superstar Bruce Lee on President Bush, causing the president to scream in pain. It's too bad McCain ignored my advice to use the Shaolin death grip when he shook Barack Obama's hand before each debate. . . . . . Barack would collapse and writhe in pain, McCain could taunt him: So tell me whose bitch you are, Barack!, and the good senator from Illinois would be forced to squeal I is yo bitch, massuh John, I is yo bitch!

I believe such a moment could have indeed changed the course of this election, but that is not to be.

The Obama campaign has been very impressive in its organization, especially its use of the internet to mobilize supporters, while the McCain campaign has resembled a bit of concept-driven, avant garde performance art that has gone badly awry. Or maybe the "Red Zone Cuba" episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a more apt comparison. At any rate, by this time 48 hours from now I firmly expect Obama to be our next president.

The real suspense is going to be in comparing the final polls to the actual election results. The final polls are all over the place, and it's clear that some major errors are being made in polling methodologies and analysis. For example, Gallup today gives Obama a lead of 8% while IDB/TIPP has Obama with a 2% lead. That's the sort of difference that can't be explained as normal variations in the data; something else is going on. And as someone fascinated by statistics-----three college courses in it-----I have some ideas.

One obvious problem is that the sample of a political population self-selects; no one can be forced to participate in a poll. I have read that about 20% of those contacted by political pollsters decline to take part. That has to introduce a huge error into the results, although the extent and direction of that error can't be determined. But it is definitely there.

Pollsters also contact people via landline telephone numbers. But an increasing number of people only have cell phones, and those people are omitted from any polling. I was in that situation when I lived in Las Vegas; I had a landline number, but I used it exclusively for my fax machine. If you wanted to make a voice call to me, you had to reach me at my cell phone. Contacting only those with landline phones is another source of sampling error.

But perhaps the biggest source of error in this election will be the Bradley effect. This is the dirty little secret we're not supposed to talk about; as a nation, we like to tell ourselves race will not be a factor in elections. But I don't believe it. I am confident there are quite a few white voters who will not vote for Obama because he is black but will not admit that to a pollster-----instead, they will say they are undecided or even say they are voting for Obama.

Versions of the Bradley effect are found in other areas. For example, it has been repeatedly shown that people are much less like to admit to certain beliefs and behaviors via personal interviews (either face-to-face or by telephone) than they will via anonymous written questionnaires. Just a couple of weeks ago I saw an item where a survey was conducted of married women from 25 to 40 on the subject of infidelity.Only 1% of women interviewed by telephone admitted to having had an affair; that number jumped to 8% on anonymous written questionnaires.

Because of the Bradley effect, I think Obama's margin of victory is going to be less than the polls indicate. I suspect he will win by 3% to 5% in the popular vote, but have a very healthy margin in electoral votes. It will be interesting to see if exit polling is any more accurate than it was in 2004, when exit polls had such laughably inaccurate results as John Kerry winning South Carolina. My advice would be to ignore any and all exit polls tomorrow; wait until actual vote totals start coming in before drawing any conclusions.

I cast my ballot in early voting last week, and I voted for Obama. I did so because I respect his intellect, because I feel we need a president uncontaminated by the "beltway mentality," because. . . . . . . ah crap, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm dying from cancer. I'm worried that maybe my college professors were wrong, that there really is a heaven and a hell, that I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do before much longer. . . . . . . . so maybe if I vote for a black guy for president, thereby demonstrating I am really A Good Person after all, maybe I can plea bargain down to probation and a couple of hundred hours of community service instead of eternity on the Rotisserie Of Divine Vengeance.

An act of desperation? Yes, but I am a desperate man.

The Luckiest Boy In The World

That's me!

Why?

Today is my birthday. I've made it to 56 years.

Slightly over two years ago, I got the news my colon cancer had metastasized to my liver and I was now at Stage IV. Less than 20% of colon cancer patients survive two years after it spreads to the liver (for example, former White House press secretary Tony Snow only lived an additional 17 months). Not only am I still here, but the only real signs something's wrong are weight loss, erratic sleep, and a lack of energy. I am still able to do many things I enjoy. When I got the news back in August, 2007 that the chemotherapy had failed to stop the return of my liver tumor, I wanted just one more good year. I got it, and I'm going to get some more time. That's a big reason why I am so lucky.

But an even bigger reason is people like you. Yes, you reading this blog!

Since getting sick, I have had incredible support from my family: my wife Dianna, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, and my ex-wife Tina. It is easy to walk a tightrope when you have such a big, strong net under you. They have all given me the most precious gift any cancer patient can ever get, namely the knowledge that you matter to other people. I am so grateful. In particular, my "Princess Di" has been there for me.We have spent over half of our married life with me as a cancer patient. We had such big dreams when we bought the ranch in Smithville and planned to raise horses; all that went out the window just a few months later. Yet she has never complained, never uttered a word of regret, and has shown amazing grace and courage since then. I am so, so lucky to have her in my life.

And then there are my friends who have been with me during this time. Some have been my friends since junior high (like Hugh and Chuck), others (like Forrest Mims and Jon Erickson) I have known since the Carter presidency, and still others are those Di and I have made since returning to Texas. I can't find the words to describe how much I always enjoy hearing from them, whether by phone, e-mail, or visits to our home. (Notice to those who have done the latter: our new cat Stanley is now declawed, and you may visit us in safety.)

I had "virtual friends" long before the internet came along, and by this I'm referring to the people I got to know who were either readers of my writing or fellow radio hobbyists. I have communicated, in some cases for years, with such people through letters and, later, e-mail; in only a few cases have I ever met them face-to-face or even spoken to them on the telephone (although I have "spoken" to some of them via Morse code over my ham radio station). I now regularly exchange e-mails with people in places as widely separated as Japan, Germany, and Australia, and even though I will almost certainly never get to meet them I feel as if I know them intimately.

I am so grateful to everyone of you. You have given me so much, and I hope I have given something in return------but I know I got the better end of the deal because you have all been such special people. I am very lucky to know all of you.

And that's why I feel so lucky today. Your love and friendship is a gift I get all year long from you, and I treasure it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I have nothing special planned for today. Di and I went out for lunch earlier today, and I went into a buying frenzy at the local Barnes & Noble. I also have a nice pitcher of azul margaritas in the refrigerator, and I plan to consume it tonight during the presidential debate; I'll be playing "Presidential Pass-out." I'll chug down a margarita whenever Senator Obama utters the word "change" during the debate, and I'll do the same whenever Grandpa Rambo. . . . . . . . er, I mean, Senator McCain makes some reference to having been a POW. I anticipate I'll probably be good and drunk twenty minutes into the debate. (Full disclosure: I voted for Obama in the Texas primary and will do the same in the general election.)

But seriously. . . . . . . my sincere thanks and gratitude to all of you. You mean so much to me!

We Have A New Car!

Di and I took delivery of our new 2009 Scion Xd yesterday. Above is a photo I took today at the beach here, with Di behind the wheel and Katiya, the dog princess, serving as co-pilot.

The Scion is one of Toyota's brands, and frankly we were looking for a new Toyota when stepped onto the lot at Champion Toyota in Corpus Christi last week. But the Scion quickly sold itself when we spotted some on the lot. The Scion brand is aimed at the under-35 age bracket, but I was quickly impressed at the package it offered for the money. It's a four door hatchback, very similar to a Honda Civic hatchback, and has the build quality and finish you associate with Toyota----there are no rattles, everything fits together snugly, the paint is smooth and even, etc. On the road, it has the same "Toyota feel" that I've enjoyed since I got my 4Runner years ago. Steering is nice and tight, the ABS brakes are smooth and act fast, the suspension lets you feel the road without jarring you, it turns in a small radius, etc. Acceleration is surprisingly good for a four cylinder engine. The Xd came with a boatload of standard equipment, including an iPod recharger and input port on the AM/FM/CD audio system; I can play my iPod through the audio system without draining its battery. The only options we have on our Xd are tinted glass and XM satellite radio.

If you're looking for a new car, I suggest you give the Scion Xd serious consideration.

Rediscovering H. L. Mencken

I've spent the past few days re-reading The Bathtub Hoax by H. L. Mencken. As a college freshman, I first encountered Mencken and read everything by him I could find. Mencken turned out to be the biggest influence upon me as a writer, and his political and social views-----he was a "libertarian" long before the termed was coined-----shaped, and continue to shape, my social and political views.

Mencken wrote vigorous yet elegant prose; his writing combined both power and delicacy. He was a keen observer of people and society, and never was hesitant to make his opinions and feelings clear. Mencken was a practitioner of what is today called "the conversational style" (although he would've surely disdained and mocked the term). For Mencken, writing was a one-to-one conversation between an author and the reader, an act of intensely personal communication. He never hid behind such formalisms as "your author" or "the reader," nor did he geld his writing with such timidities as the passive voice. Reading Mencken for the first time was like my first taste of undiluted vodka-----it was a shock to my system and left a burning sensation. And I futilely tried to model my own writing on Mencken's. I like to think I eventually developed my own style as I matured as a writer, but it's obvious "my own style" has many elements of Mencken in it. Some are purely stylistic, while others are attitudinal. As an example of the latter, it was from Mencken that I picked up the technique of deliberately provoking readers by directly challenging their beliefs and assumptions. Mencken did so for a worthwhile reason, namely to get readers to analyze why they believed certain things to be true or just, and I often do the same (although I usually try to soften the blow with some humor).

While re-reading The Bathtub Hoax, I was repeatedly astounded at how often Mencken's social and political observations, mostly made in the 1920s and 1930s, are still very relevant today----or perhaps even more so than when originally written. Take, for example, the following paragraphs from an essay titled "Notes on Government" which was published in 1926:

The light began to dawn, I believe, at the precise moment when the prohibitionists ceased arguing that prohibition would cure all the sorrows of the world, and began arguing that it ought to be submitted to because it was the law-----in other words, at the moment when they introduced the doctrine of law enforcement. That doctrine, it soon became obvious, had little foundation in logic; it was almost purely mystical. What it amounted to was a denial that the citizens of a free state had any natural or inalienable rights at all. If, by whatever chicanery, a law was passed ordering them to cut off their children's ears, then they were bound to obey. If, by the same chicanery, a law was passed prohibiting them to wash the same ears, then they were equally bound to obey. It needed little gift for ratiocination to penetrate to the absurdity of this doctrine. Or to grasp the fact of its extreme antiquity. Even a moron could see it was simply the ancient dogma of the king's divine right in a new false face. It could not be disentangled from the concept of the citizen as a mere subject. Above him stood an occult something called the government, a force distinct from the people and superior to them. Did the people, under democracy, create it and give it the breath of life? Then, once created, it was nevertheless distinct from them and superior to them. They were forbidden to resist it.

When Mencken wrote the above, it was in reference to the Prohibitionists of the 1920s. Today, their ideological descendants are everywhere, hectoring us about too many "trans fats" (whatever the hell they are) in the foods we eat, not being sufficiently "green" and energy efficient, not using enough sunscreen, etc., etc. Mencken identified those ideological descendants as "wowsers," a word he first used in 1926 in an essay titled "Yet More Hints for Novelists":

Since the earliest days, as every one knows, American jurisprudence has been founded upon the axiom that it is the first duty of every citizen to police his neighbors. There is no such thing in this grand and puissant nation as privacy. The yokels out in Iowa, neglecting their horned cattle, have a right, it appears-----nay, a sacred duty!----to peek into my home in Baltimore and tell me what I may and may not drink with my meals. A Methodist preacher in Washington, inspired by God, determines what I may receive in the mails. I must not buy lottery tickets because it offends the moral sentiments of Kansas.

Such are the laws of the greatest free nation ever seen on earth. We are all governed by them. But a government of laws, of course, is a mere phantasm of political theories: the thing is always found, in inspection, to be really a government of men. In the United States, it seems to me, the tendency is for such men to come increasingly from the class of professional uplifters. It is not the bankers who run the ostensible heads of state, as the liberals believe, nor the so-called bosses, as the bosses themselves believe, but the wowsers. . . . . . Thus we are run by wowsers-----and wowser is an Australian word that I hereby formally nominate for inclusion in the American language. . . . . . What does it mean? It means precisely what you think of inevitably when you hear it. A wowser is a wowser. He bears a divine commission to regulate and improve the rest of us. He knows exactly what is best for us. He is what E. W. Howe calls a Good Man. So long as you and I are sinful he can't sleep. So long as we are happy he is after us.

And nothing has changed in the 62 years since Mencken wrote those words, except perhaps things are worse now. Wowsers now come from the left and right sides of the political spectrum and in all manner of guises. Those who are tormented by the idea of someone eating trans-fats are no different from those who are horrified by the notion of adults gambling with their own money in a casino; both are busybodies who can't stop sticking their noses into the private lives of persons engaging in peaceful activities they happen not to like. We are entirely too polite toward wowsers. We need to tell them to go to hell more often and, if that fails, we need to be more profane and threatening toward them. Instead of listening politely like Oprah and then thanking them for sharing their gibberish with us, maybe we should instead take them out back and bullwhip some sense into them.

Many called Mencken a cynic. He certainly did not take an optimistic view of the human condition, as the following illustrates:

What lies beneath all this is simply an ancient fact, noted long ago by William James, and before him by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, and before him by the Greeks, and before the Greeks by the first human politicians. It is the fact that the race of men is divided sharply into two classes: those who are what James called tough minded, and demand overwhelming proofs before they will believe, and those who are what he called tender minded, and are willing to believe anything that seems to be pleasant. It is the tender minded who keep quacks of all sorts well fed and active, and hence vastly augment the charm of the world. They find it wholly impossible to distinguish between what is subjectively agreeable and what is objectively true.

Is that cynicism? No. Instead, it is a powerful, simple statement of an unfortunate truth. In the paragraph above, Mencken neatly explains why so much goes wrong in the world, why so many grand schemes crash and burn, and why so many people waste their money on miracle diet pills, no-money-down real estate investments, and psychic weekends in Sedona, Arizona. If such foolishness was confined to the private sphere-----if it went no further than some goobers really thinking they can make $5000 a day from home with their own internet business-----it wouldn't be a big deal. But unfortunately our social institutions (like schools) and government are now overrun by the tender minded, the sort who sincerely believe everyone can be above average with the proper instruction and that you have solved a problem by passing a law. Trying to engage the tender minded in a rational dialogue is like trying to teach your dog to conjugate irregular French verbs. You'll only get frustrated for your efforts, and if you persist too long you'll go insane.

While he never attended college, Mencken was a believer in education. But it was "education" of a special sort, as he wrote in 1927:

The discovery of fraudulence, I believe, is one of the principal aims and achievements of true education, if not the first of them all. A man soundly fitted for life is not one who believes what he is told, as a schoolboy believes, but one trained in differentiating between the true and the false, and especially trained in weighing and estimating authority. If the young man at college learns nothing else save the fact that many of the bigwigs of the world are charlatans, and that positions and attainments do not necessarily go together, then he has learned something of the utmost value. The tragedy of the world is that the great majority of human beings never learn it.


I need to stop before I quote the entire text of The Bathtub Hoax. (The book's title comes from one of Mencken's essays, an entirely fictitious/satirical account of how the bathtub was invented in Cincinnati in 1842; despite its obvious ridiculousness, his essay was, to Mencken's delight/horror, taken as absolute fact by most readers.) If you want a definitive survey of his work, I recommend A Mencken Chrestomathy.

Mencken was kept well away from impressionable high schoolers when I attended four decades ago, and I suppose that is even more the case today. Indeed, America would be even more querulous, have many fewer people willing to quietly submit to established authority, and show much less empathy to those suffering from self-inflicted wounds if the majority of the population had some exposure to Mencken. You could make a strong case those would all be bad things.

On the other hand, we'd have fewer damn fools running loose if Mencken was part of our educational curricula, and that would be a very good thing. A very good thing indeed.